Utah Draw Outcome

There should have been some measure of excitement to receive notification of a $285 pending charge on my credit card. There should have been confirmation of that excitement when the official DWR email was received. I read posts with exclamations of excitement and/or disbelief from guys who have drawn one tag or another. There I sat in front of my computer staring at the open email... SUCCESSFUL... and I wasn't excited about it. The thing is though, I don't get excited about drawing tags. I just don't. For whatever reason I've always just taken the results and moved on to the next phase. But even this was different. As I notified friends & family and they expressed their excitement for me, but I felt something very different... pressure.

You need to understand something here and now... I have a score to settle with that mountain. That mountain challenged my ego in 2014 and won, go back and read about my grandfather's limited entry elk hunt (here, it's the 2nd story from the bottom titled "2014 Central Mountains, Manti Early Rifle Elk"). This is personal and I'm not too ashamed to admit that this is about my pride. For my grandfather's hunt I was asked to gather all the information and put together a plan but as you can read there were circumstances and weaknesses (both physical and quite honestly mental) that prevented us from fully carrying out that plan & without a thoroughly thought out back up plan we floundered. This time however, this is my tag, this will be my plan, things will be done my way. I need to atone for the extremely unpleasant taste in my mouth from that past experience. The pressure likely comes from this. I want revenge. Redemption. Vindication.

So, I feel it. I feel pressure. I feel a ton of pressure as I begin preparing for this hunt. I feel pressure to have the kind of experience that warrants the years of waiting for this tag for what equates to the entirety of my adult life. I feel pressure to prove to those that were part of that hunt in 2014 that my planning and preparation was up to snuff, that it was good enough to kill an animal then & that it will be good enough now. I feel pressure to legitimize myself to you, to prove to you that this "online persona" I've created (whatever that means) through this blog and on the forums I frequent isn't a complete farce. I feel pressure from my wife to not completely waste almost $300 that could have been used to purchase actual food should I return home with empty coolers. It's cathartic to write about it (even though I feel silly saying cathartic).

All in all, I am far more excited now that I was a week ago & if past experience is any indication of the future my excitement will continue to grow through the summer. The early scouting process has begun and there have been many text discussions with the two friends (Cody and Doug... both regulars on this blog) who will be my "wingmen" on this endeavor. I'll try to give regular weekly(ish) updates on my scouting and preparation efforts leading up to opening day, sign up to receive email notification when posts are published.

Subscribe to receive updates from The Glassing Tree, enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner